WHAT DOES A TYPICAL counseling SESSION LOOK LIKE?

Counseling sessions are child/client-led, which means that the child or young person whose session it is is the one driving what we do and how we do it. This is because, at ND3, we believe that the most powerful healing agent is a mutually respectful, safe, affirming, caring, and authentic connection. And authentic connections happen in spaces without agendas, hierarchies, or judgment. In this way, the therapeutic relationship is, itself, the context for self-discovery, growth, and belonging.

In concrete terms, this could mean that sessions involve drawing side-by-side, jamming out to music, making an obstacle course, playing a video, board, or card game, swinging on swings, making slime, meeting stuffed animals and other beloved collections, learning from a child about their deep interest, playing with puppets, reading books, exploring workbooks, going for walks, jumping on a trampoline, exploring sensory tools, organizing/sorting items, or doing anything that is regulating, enjoyable, and safe-feeling to the young person. 

The “therapy” is not just happening when the therapist is offering ideas, asking questions, wondering out loud, challenging status quos, and providing guidance - all of which is incorporated authentically into sessions - but equally when the therapist and client are laughing, bonding, sharing intentional and comfortable quiet, mimicking each other’s movements/co-regulating/body-doubling, and just generally sharing a space that feels unconditionally welcoming.

HOW DOES IT WORK DOING counseling IN-HOME?

In a couple words: very well! I have found that coming into a child or young person’s most authentic context - the space where they typically feel the most “them” and, literally, at-home - saves a tremendous amount of energy (and time) on the young person’s part in trying to acclimate to and develop safety in the therapeutic relationship. It is powerful and meaningful to develop a relationship with someone as they are surrounded by the items and indications of who and what is important to them, and in a space where they (usually) are more able to access un-masked or less-masked versions of themselves. There is also often greater sensory predictability and control, as well as privacy, in one’s home, all of which is supremely important for accessibility and vulnerability. 

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I’ve found that the flexibility and accommodations in-home services allows for is of significant value to neurodivergent/disabled clients and their families. In-home services allow for softer start and stop times (and easier shifting of session times as needed). They also facilitate more easily-bridged transitions for young people who then are not faced with the arbitrary and harsh stopping of an activity, mobilizing out of the home/straight from another location, and then rejoining the home environment afterwards. For many neurodivergent and disabled young people, having the counseling take place in their home is what makes the difference between support they can access versus help that’s out of reach. It’s what makes the “help” actually helpful. 

I join my clients’ homes with utmost care, respect, and deference to the young person and their family.

WHEN AND HOW DO PARENTS FIND OUT WHAT’S GOING ON IN THEIR CHILD/YOUNG PERSON’S counseling?

There are logistical and ethical components of sharing with parents about their young person’s counseling: logistically, parents can set up consultation meetings with me at any cadence they (or I) suggest - some parents meet with me weekly, others bi-monthly, monthly, or as-needed. Ethically, I share with caregivers the substance of anything I have shown, read, explained, or otherwise taught their child, clinical impressions/observations of their young person, and then anything the young person has shared with me that they have given me explicit permission to share. I explain these same boundaries to my clients (of all ages), as well, so they understand that I will share with their caregivers anything I feel I need to that has to do with their imminent safety or the safety of another person, but otherwise will ask first before I share things from our sessions with others.

As is the case for all mental health providers, I would always report to you and the Department of Children and Families (DCF) any reports of abuse (past/present/intended, to the young person or someone else) or neglect, as indicated by Mandatory Reporting laws.

WHAT DO YOU DO AS A SUPPORT IN AN IEP MEETING?

It’s extremely helpful to have someone else at the IEP table who feels as invested as you are in attaining the best outcomes for your child - not for “the System,” for self-protection, or for any other purpose.  Given ample preparation to learn all about your young person, their goals, passions, talents, identities, neurotypes, disabilities, and stressors, and their educational history, I can join your meeting as a highly knowledgeable advocate, with not just extensive and nuanced knowledge of your child, but expertise and 15 years of experience in/related to public school systems, special education, IEP team member roles, and more broadly: human development, neuroscience, neurodiversity, and disability. 

Putting my three (of ND ‘3’) perspectives together as an autistic person, school psychologist, and parent to my own multiply-neurodivergent and disabled children, with extensive and varied personal experiences advocating with public schools, I can contribute “live” to your meeting in a way that shapes and directs the conversation productively. I can elevate the discourse at the table by helping the group zoom in and out - incorporating both the important nuances of your child, as well as the broader social/societal contexts in which they operate - to bring greater clarity and justice to Team decision-making. 

With thoughtful preparation, caregivers and I partner in ways that are most supportive of/responsive to their particular needs, meaning I can be highly participatory during a meeting if we agree that would be most beneficial - offering concrete suggestions for goals, benchmarks, services, and all other sections of the IEP, respectfully asking thought-challenging/provoking questions during decision-making portions of the meeting, identifying logical fallacies, factual inaccuracies, points of agreement and disagreement, or offering alternative interpretations, perspectives, and explanations - and/or my advocacy can be front-loaded with caregivers (and other Team members, as applicable) before meetings to lay a productive foundation, and I can join IEP meetings more so to observe, learn, and inform my ongoing support/next-steps guidance for the family.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR STYLE?

I would say calmly incisive. Feedback from a range of others - colleagues, team-members, parents, administrators, etc. - has described me as even-keeled but sharp, compelling, personable, and humorous where possible. I bring a wealth of information, alongside a well of passion, but I maintain a quiet composure that co-regulates and attempts to unite the people in the room. I’ve been known to cite specific sources for my comments while still establishing a comfortable, accessible, and relatable discourse. I also tend to name the broader systems of oppression that are at work in any given situation, which serves to (in some ways, for certain moments) absolve individual actors in order to mobilize support and facilitate alignment. As such, my style is to acknowledge and hold multiple truths at a time, while highlighting an injustice (or potential injustice) and articulating an appropriate course of action, in specific terms, to address it.